I Couldn’t sleep because I have so much work to do.
I was staring at my computer because that is where I do work late at night.
Didn’t want to write. Didn’t want to take photos. I wanted to shoot something.
Couldn’t. It would have woken the kids and Drema and then Bat would have wanted to shoot in the dark too. That would’ve been OK but it was a school night.
I had a grand idea – I’d Google myself.
I’m not famous so it took a while to find anything interesting. But when I stumbled on some message forums I hit the jackpot.
First was the guy – I say “guy” but on message forums you never really know who is doing the typing. It could be a teenager from a country that doesn’t allow gun ownership – that accused me of being a “pitch man” for a holster company. Gee, that sounds like easy work. Wonder what it pays? Maybe it comes with free holsters. Since I generally only carry one gun at at time, I sure could use about 50 free holsters. And, aren’t “pitch men” famous?
Then there was the fellow, oops, I did it again, – maybe it was an employee out at the Bunny Ranch who was having a slow night – who thought my evaluation of the terminal performance of a bullet was bull. Though he/she/it admitted they had no experience with the bullet, they were sure the 20 deer I witnessed being shot with the bullet in question were an anomaly or imaginary.
Oh, and someone else called me a “DUM DUM”. Hey, them there are fighting words. Well, they were in grade school.
None of this really bothered me. I did momentarily consider giving up shooting, range testing, gelatin testing, hunting and tinkering with guns 12 hours a day and even writing for magazines to just troll through gun forums looking for opportunities to make snide remarks about things I have no experience with. It was a brief lapse in judgement and I’m sure the pay sucks. Might be fun though.
I deleted “gunwriter” from the Google search and found the crown jewel of what happens when you Google yourself. Apparently there is another Richard Mann. (Who would have thunk it?) He is in the entertainment industry, but of the pornographic kind.
I stopped right there and did the most intelligent thing I could think of; dry-fired my Commander 20 times and went to bed.
As I lay there in bed, thinking of the terrible work on my schedule – like testing the new compact 1911 from SIG or the moose I’ll soon be hunting in Sweden – I did have one final thought; wonder what that other Richard Mann turns up when he Googles himself?