Late Night Lesson – Don’t Google Yourself

I Couldn’t sleep because I have so much work to do.

I was staring at my computer because that is where I do work late at night.

Didn’t want to write. Didn’t want to take photos. I wanted to shoot something.

Couldn’t. It would have woken the kids and Drema and then Bat would have wanted to shoot in the dark too. That would’ve been OK but it was a school night.

I had a grand idea – I’d Google myself.

I’m not famous so it took a while to find anything interesting. But when I stumbled on some message forums I hit the jackpot.

First was the guy – I say “guy” but on message forums you never really know who is doing the typing. It could be a teenager from a country that doesn’t allow gun ownership – that accused me of being a “pitch man” for a holster company. Gee, that sounds like easy work. Wonder what it pays? Maybe it comes with free holsters. Since I generally only carry one gun at at time, I sure could use about 50 free holsters. And, aren’t “pitch men” famous?

Then there was the fellow, oops, I did it again, – maybe it was an employee out at the Bunny Ranch who was having a slow night – who thought my evaluation of the terminal performance of a bullet was bull. Though he/she/it admitted they had no experience with the bullet, they were sure the 20 deer I witnessed being shot with the bullet in question were an anomaly or imaginary.

Oh, and someone else called me a “DUM DUM”. Hey, them there are fighting words. Well, they were in grade school.

None of this really bothered me. I did momentarily consider giving up shooting, range testing, gelatin testing, hunting and tinkering with guns 12 hours a day and even writing for magazines to just troll through gun forums looking for opportunities to make snide remarks about things I have no experience with. It was a brief lapse in judgement and I’m sure the pay sucks. Might be fun though.

I deleted “gunwriter” from the Google search and found the crown jewel of what happens when you Google yourself. Apparently there is another Richard Mann. (Who would have thunk it?) He is in the entertainment industry, but of the pornographic kind.

I stopped right there and did the most intelligent thing I could think of; dry-fired my Commander 20 times and went to bed.

As I lay there in bed, thinking of the terrible work on my schedule – like testing the new compact 1911 from SIG or the moose I’ll soon be hunting in Sweden – I did have one final thought; wonder what that other Richard Mann turns up when he Googles himself?


About gunwriter

Born and raised in the West Virginia hills, Richard literally grew up in the woods. He has chased coon hounds until daylight, waited out whitetails perched high in an oak, canoed the New River and hunted from the Montana Mountains to the Green Hills of Africa. During service in the Army and later as a municipal police officer and Special Agent with the railroad police, Richard obtained numerous certifications in small arms instruction. He has trained military personnel, law enforcement officers and civilians in the application of firearms for defensive, competitive and recreational use. Richard won the West Virginia Governor’s Twenty Award for law enforcement, the West Virginia National Guard State Pistol Competition and earned his Distinguished Medal with pistol. Badge turned in, Richard is now a contributing editor for several magazines. He was the compiling author of the book, Rifle Bullets for the Hunter and conceptualized and contributed to Selecting and Ordering a Custom Hunting Rifle. Richard also contributed a chapter to the John Velke book, The True Story of the Baldwin-Felts Detective Agency. Richard has patents on a riflescope reticle and a revolutionary bullet testing media. A hillbilly at heart, Richard lives on Shadowland - his shooting range in West Virginia - with the most understanding wife in the world, their three kids and a very protective ridgeback hound.
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3 Responses to Late Night Lesson – Don’t Google Yourself

  1. Michael B. Saari says:

    How about posting Constitutional infringements: Such as DUI’s void of any injured party? How can our government place a felony conviction upon people on what could have happened, void of what did happen with an injured party? Is this not the beginning of a new era?
    I have a friend that went through a divorce and receive three DUI convictions within a 6-month period and now has a felony conviction. There was never an injured party, and now the young man can never possess a firearm for home protection, or hunt with his children for the rest of his life. Is this not an infringement according to the constitution?
    The Constitution Guarantees the right to confront the accuser on the witness stand prior to loosing a God given right, the state is a fictitious entity that voids cross examination on the witness stand.
    There are thousands of instances where people are put into jail void of confronting a witness. This is an atrocity to our Constitution.
    Example: A woman was just sentenced to 7-years in prison for purchasing her son a shotgun that he used to commit suicide.
    If she was found guilty of purchasing a screw driver that the son put through the middle of his forehead, would she have been found guilty of purchasing the screwdriver?
    We strongly need revamp felony laws based upon the Magna Carta Constitution of confronting the witness on the stand.

  2. RG says:

    I had a good laugh reading this one!

  3. I think “Google Yourself” was one of the Richard Mann movies…

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