Today I feel much better. Not sure whether it is due to almost a week of laying on my ass doing nothing or because I might finally be beating this bug. (I did get to watch McLintok, Jeremiah Johnson, She Wore a Yellow Ribbon and more commercials than one human should see in a life time.) On an even more positive note, it seems every one in the house is feeling better – maybe because I am not as grouchy.
As for the long term damage, I may be so far behind with several articles that editors will be looking for a replacement, I have coughed so much I believe a frontal lobe in my brain has become permanently detached and I might have a hernia. On the plus side, the non-stop gagging seems to have only dislocated a tonsil and exaggerated the eyeball bulge condition which seemed to come from the incessant pounding in my head. I’m so pale I look like a character out of one of those teen vampire movies. My kids think its cool, my wife tries not to look at me; except when she is coughing and casting its an “all your fault look.”
So help me, if I had anything to do with any one of you contacting this vile sickness – and you can prove it – I will give you a new gun for Christmas. If on the other hand, you are the person that passed the plague along to me, watch your six cause I’m coming for ya.