Would you like chips with that? Opening Day Tribulations

The Gunwriter Assistant and I have been looking forward to opening day of buck season for a year. We have two days to hunt together so he will be missing school like most of the other kids who believe deer hunting with dad is important stuff.

On stand before daylight and Bat hung in there until 9 AM but we did not see a deer. Walked home, grabbed some breakfast and headed back out until a little after noon.

I must share with you the highlight of my day. When I’m in the woods – and I know this may not be the scent correct approach – it’s the one place where I do not have to be concerned with passing gas. Well, I did but at least it was silent. A few moments later Bat says, “Is it just me or do you smell sour cream and onion potato chips?   It’s making me hungry.

Bat Mann on stand. Smiling.

I started laughing out loud and said, “Yep, I smell it too but that was the fart l just let.” I thought Bat was going to fall out of the tree gagging!

I’m glad we had that fun because we went back to the house for lunch and returned to the stand at 3:00 PM and found two kids in it. NO, they were not hunting, just sitting there; the boy in a black shirt and the girl in an orange vest.

I walked up to the stand and the boy said, “Is this your stand?”

I was as mad as I was speechless (You gotta understand, this is opening day, on my own land and only 150 yards from my house.) and said, “Is it yours?”

He said, “No.” which prompted my next question of “Why you in it then?”

They climbed down and left. Well, almost. The girl ran back after they were 50 yards off and picked up a rock and skipped back to the boy. They giggled their way over the hillside. We climbed in the stand figuring our evening hunt was ruined. We did end up seeing a few deer but no antlers. The six-point I had on the trail cam – the same one Bat spied out the window Saturday – never showed.

Not the image you hope your trail camera catches 20 minutes before you get on stand. Two kids and a dog. A DOG!

It gets better…

We climb down about 10 minutes before legal shooting light is over and rush home to take Bat to his second basketball practice. We are five minutes late. I walk up to the coach, introduce myself and explain the tardiness, adding that he could expect the same tomorrow and that if Bat did get a deer in the evening he would not make practice because we would have to take care of it.

The coach grunted – GRUNTED – at me and had this look on his face like he was getting a strong odor of sour cream and onion potato chips.

THEN, after practice he tells the kids (10 to 12 year olds playing in a recreation league the parents pay for) they would have to choose between basketball and deer hunting.

What in the hell is the world coming to?


About gunwriter

Born and raised in the West Virginia hills, Richard literally grew up in the woods. He has chased coon hounds until daylight, waited out whitetails perched high in an oak, canoed the New River and hunted from the Montana Mountains to the Green Hills of Africa. During service in the Army and later as a municipal police officer and Special Agent with the railroad police, Richard obtained numerous certifications in small arms instruction. He has trained military personnel, law enforcement officers and civilians in the application of firearms for defensive, competitive and recreational use. Richard won the West Virginia Governor’s Twenty Award for law enforcement, the West Virginia National Guard State Pistol Competition and earned his Distinguished Medal with pistol. Badge turned in, Richard is now a contributing editor for several magazines. He was the compiling author of the book, Rifle Bullets for the Hunter and conceptualized and contributed to Selecting and Ordering a Custom Hunting Rifle. Richard also contributed a chapter to the John Velke book, The True Story of the Baldwin-Felts Detective Agency. Richard has patents on a riflescope reticle and a revolutionary bullet testing media. A hillbilly at heart, Richard lives on Shadowland - his shooting range in West Virginia - with the most understanding wife in the world, their three kids and a very protective ridgeback hound.
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6 Responses to Would you like chips with that? Opening Day Tribulations

  1. John in KS says:

    Basketball or hunting? Hmmmmm………………….

    No contest: Hunting!

    p.s., Did those two kids understand that they were trespassing?

  2. gunwriter says:

    That’s what Bat said. As for those kids, not sure “understand” could be used to describe them.

  3. RG says:

    I hope y’all get your deer. What GREAT memories for your son. I guarantee he will remeber this first day and that fart for the rest of his life!

  4. Pingback: What is the world coming to? « Gun Nuts Media

  5. James Mark VanTress says:

    I suffered the same in college. I’m sure you dealt with the same. Coaches, professors, teachers, etc. (though not all are like your son’s coach), You may be paying to go to school, attend a sports camp and so on, but they are still under the impression they are in control.
    Had a similar incident with my daughter and soccer, she’s eight and very good. Anyway, we had the same circumstance in the fall league. She decided she would go hunting with dad. The coach, a yankee, did not understand until a few more parents explained the demographics to him.

  6. Pingback: DEER CAMP – Color me GONE | EMPTY CASES

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