Bad Birthdays

So, Monday is my wife’s birthday. I have not forgotten. Intended to buy her something nice today though I had no idea what. Was going to sneak away between finishing up two articles; one on handloading the .30 Rem AR and the other on the differences between MILS, MOA and inches.

Didn’t happen.

I had the money saved up but the dishwasher I got her for her anniversarry two years ago (Don’t start on me. There was other presents involved too.) has taken a turn for the worst and has become a dish dirtier. Nope, I didn’t know there was such a thing either. At least such a thing that you had to plug into the wall.

So over the weekend she went to the money pit seven miles down the road; the one called Lowes. The new dishwasher should be here tomorrow. I guess I’ll put a ribbon on it. Might as well put a ribbon on the washing machine we had to buy two weeks ago and tell her she got two presents.

Nah, better not.

We do have a baby sitter this Saturday so she will get an evening away from those little people that live in our house. The ones that only know five words; “Mommy”, “Daddy” and “He (she) hit me.”

Still, a fine lady like I’m married to ought to be able to open a present on her birthday. If one of these magazines I write for would just send me a check….

Funny thing; I asked Drema the other night if there was an appliance we had not had to purchase in the last 17 years? I told her I could not remember ever buying a stove.

“Oh, yeah, we bought a stove. Remember when we lived in the trailer while you were still a cop? It finally got down to we only had one eye that worked and we had to charge a new stove at Sears.”

“Oh, yeah.” I said. “I was trying to forget how poor we were then.”

“No, we did not have much money then.” Drema remembered with me. “Come to think of it, I’ve noticed our stove is not baking like it should.”

You got to be kidding me! Maybe I’ll get lucky and it will last until Christmas. That would solve that present purchasing problem.


About gunwriter

Born and raised in the West Virginia hills, Richard literally grew up in the woods. He has chased coon hounds until daylight, waited out whitetails perched high in an oak, canoed the New River and hunted from the Montana Mountains to the Green Hills of Africa. During service in the Army and later as a municipal police officer and Special Agent with the railroad police, Richard obtained numerous certifications in small arms instruction. He has trained military personnel, law enforcement officers and civilians in the application of firearms for defensive, competitive and recreational use. Richard won the West Virginia Governor’s Twenty Award for law enforcement, the West Virginia National Guard State Pistol Competition and earned his Distinguished Medal with pistol. Badge turned in, Richard is now a contributing editor for several magazines. He was the compiling author of the book, Rifle Bullets for the Hunter and conceptualized and contributed to Selecting and Ordering a Custom Hunting Rifle. Richard also contributed a chapter to the John Velke book, The True Story of the Baldwin-Felts Detective Agency. Richard has patents on a riflescope reticle and a revolutionary bullet testing media. A hillbilly at heart, Richard lives on Shadowland - his shooting range in West Virginia - with the most understanding wife in the world, their three kids and a very protective ridgeback hound.
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One Response to Bad Birthdays

  1. Mike Barham says:

    Richard: good luck in your gift search, and please tell Drema I said “happy birthday!”

    Everyone else: perhaps one of you can explain to me exactly how Mann scored such a charming and beautiful wife, ’cause I sure can’t figure it out.

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